Someone I know is expecting her first child, and was asking for recommendations of what baby items she absolutely has to buy, and what she doesn't.
Hi Ladies,
My friend, a new mum, was asking about what items she needs to buy, and what she doesn't. Some of my personal must-haves are a carrier, car seat (if one has a car), and nursing bras. What I had no use for were the breast-feeding pillow (Even though I nursed both for 2 years - strangely, it gave me more of a backache then without.) and changing table.
I was thinking of compiling a list of Must Haves and No Need to Haves (from Birth till 1) from experienced Mums.
...If you would like to contribute, please indicate your interest below and I'll give you the details. Of course, you'll be credited.
I agree that must-haves and don't-needs are very individual. I think it would be interesting to see what different Mums like and dislike, and why, and it would be a good opportunity to reassure new Mums that as long as their choices make sense to them, there is no wrong choice! smile emoticon
I'd also be interested to see if there are any commonalities. smile emoticon
Absolute Essentials:
Diapers
Whether cloth or disposable, babies poop and pee A. LOT. So you want to always have these on hand.
Clothes
You don't really need that many sets to start with, because you (or someone else) will be washing them every day. Milk spit-up needs to be washed asap, or they will stink. I think I used only three, at most five sets regularly. Why? because they were on the top of the pile. I really didn't have the time to pick and choose. Especially so when they start to flip and crawl.
Swaddles
For the first few months at least. Most babies love to be swaddled. It gives them a sense of security. After all, they've been squished up in the womb for nine months. They're not used to all that space and freedom. I didn't invest in any of the fancy swaddles. I used the trusty cloth nappy or baby blankets.
Wipes
To clean up after they poop and pee. Which happens A. LOT. I know it is not terribly environmentally friendly. Some mummies I know will wash them instead, but this is most conveniently done at home. So they'll still come in handy when you bring baby out.
Formula
This one depends on whether you plan to breastfeed or not. If you have no plans to breastfeed, then obviously you need to buy formula. If you plan to breastfeed on the other hand, you might want to wait before buying formula. Breast milk may take a few days to come in. Even though studies have shown that babies can survive for a few days without milk, and on very little milk at the beginning, it can be very scary in the interim. The nagging from elders will not help either. Some mummies would rather not have any formula in the house, so that they won't "give in" and give baby formula. Some would rather have a standby tin at home, so baby has something to drink in the meantime.
Bottles
Definitely if you plan to bottle feed the baby. If you plan to breastfeed, you may choose to bottle feed baby (if so, you will need breast pumps and storage bags too). This may be a good choice because Daddy (or Grandma, or ...) can feed baby too, so you have time to do something else, like go to the loo, or bathe.) If you plan to nurse, then no need for all this paraphernalia.
My Personal Must Haves:
Car Seat (if baby is going to be ferried around regularly in a specific vehicle)
This for me is an absolute MUST. One of the leading causes of unintentional deaths of children in the United States (I could not find any statistics on Singapore) is
motor vehicle accidents. As a rule, my children have to be buckled in their seats whenever they're in a car. Even now. Even when they were screaming their heads off as babies, with willing laps and arms to carry and soothe them. One reason was their safety. The other was I was often the only adult around. If they got used to being carried while in the car, we would not go anywhere.
Carrier
I alternated between a soft structure carrier (Beco) and a pouch (Pupsik). I know mummies who love their ring slings and wraps. I loved closeness and bonding with the Littles while carrying them. The carriers help to give the arms a rest. For longer durations, I would use the Beco, as that distributed the weight much better. The Pupsik pouch would give me a backache after a while, but was good enough for quick trips. I also had it in my bag, though, as it was useful as a nursing cover and blanket if necessary.
I also love the convenience of carriers. When Little Man was a baby, he would sometimes (often) fuss and refuse to nap. I just would not be able to soothe him. So I would strap him on and then go for a bus or MRT ride. It was great. I could eat, shop, buy a drink and read at Starbucks. The only thing I could not do was shop for clothes.
"But you could do all that with a pram," I hear some of you say. "You could even try on clothes!" I lived in a three-storey walk-up at that time. Meaning no lift (elevator). So carrying a pram down, and then up three flights with a baby on my own? Nope. (I didn't always have the use of the car.)Doing that with a toddler and a baby? Nothing doing. Also, the carrier freed my arms for other things, like carrying groceries up said flight of stairs, or giving the toddler a piggy-back ride up the stairs when his tiny legs were too tired.
Comfortable and Supportive Nursing Bras
With Little Man, I did a mixture of expressing and nursing. Little Lady only nursed. Nursing bras were therefore very important to me. I found the ones at Mothercare fit and supported me best. The ones at Marks and Spencer were not bad either.
Nursing Tops and Dresses
For four years, I mainly shopped for clothes at Spring Maternity. I did buy a couple of pieces online, but I preferred to be able to try my clothes on before buying, and there was an outlet somewhat close to home. I know some mummies were able to make do with their ordinary clothes and a nursing cover or shawl. Both my kiddos hated the nursing covers and would either rip or flip them off. So to protect my modesty, I lived in nursing tops and dresses.
Diaper Changing Mat
I had several of these - many came free. I had a pretty, unpadded one made, so that it would go in my bag and not take up too much space. I am not a clean freak by any stretch of the imagination, but I would always use my own diaper changing mat on public changing tables as I am not sure how often those get cleaned, if at all.
What I had no need for:
Breastfeeding Pillow
Ironically, the breastfeeding pillow I used with Little Man gave me such a bad backache. The height wasn't right for us, and he kept slipping between me and the pillow. What worked better for us was arranging ordinary pillows and/or cushions just so.
Changing Table
In addition to having no space for an extra piece of furniture, I much preferred using diaper changing mats. Any flat surface would do.
Baby Monitor
One of my aunts kindly gave us a baby monitor at the First Month celebration (Thanks Si Gu and Aunty Grace!). It went largely unused. Firstly, my place was not that big. Secondly, I somehow developed this super hearing, where I could hear the baby 'eh' in the next room, even over the hubby's snores or gameplay. Eventually, the cot was moved to our room, and eventually, the baby(s) moved to our bed, so there really was no need for a monitor.
Chair Harness
You know, those fabric things that can convert any chair into baby chair and keep them there while you feed them and yourself while dining outside? No? This one:
Didn't manage to keep either of my wrigglies in place. In fact, they protested so much they were disturbing the other diners more than without it. Besides, because the harness was designed to only strap them in, and not lift them up, that meant that their mouths were perfectly aligned with the edge of the table, and I do not imagine gets cleaned very much. How often do you see cleaners wipe there with their (already not very clean) cloth?
